All this talk about “The Yankees Are Coming! The Yankees Are Coming!” has us all thinking about how all this would work. It’s been discussed here on the boards: How would the schedule work? What about the locker rooms? What about the front office? What about the eight games against the IronPigs?

I’ve also been thinking about me: I could go to more games. If it were a nice day, I could go on a whim. If I needed to host a group, tickets would be easier. I might be able to sit in a different spot where I’ve never sat before. I might be able to rent a suite for cheap(er) and have a party with my friends. There would be baseball like, EVERY DAY! I might be able to close the gap with Dan and Jimmy T on games attended.  I could scout the Yankees’ opposing team so that when the IronPigs play that team then…..…nothing, nobody cares, but I could SAY I scouted that team.

But let’s file this column under: From the Owner’s Box. This morning I started thinking about how this would affect the IronPigs. What if I owned the IronPigs? (well, my bar tab would be lower—but I’d have to pay for rehab, so I guess it all cancels out 😉 )  I don’t think I’d be very happy about the Yankees interloping on my sweet deal. I’ve got a beautiful stadium and the best attendance in all of non-MLB baseball. I sell concessions and merchandise like crazy. We work hard, but we’re making money hand over fist. Yes, we have to pay rent, but the payoff is worth it. Plus, everyone loves me at the league meetings because we’re doing it the best. People love me locally because I have the new, quieter fireworks and I’ve promised to try to make more bobble heads next year. The IronPigs are my store, and a very profitable one at that.

Now, someone wants to move into my store. He wants to share rent, sure, and he’ll do his paper work at other offices and stay out of my way. But his product is on the same shelf next to mine. Perhaps it’s not as good, but he also might price it less. And, even though my product is “better,” once we’re in the same store, he can begin to copy me—it’s my customers who are going to be coming through the door most of the time, and he’ll learn what they like. Because I’ve worked hard to create a demand for my product, supplies are low. He has plenty of inventory. Although he’ll share the rent, and the maintenance, my beautiful store is going to take a beating with increased foot traffic, and might not look as nice and clean all the time. I’d like to be a good neighbor, but at the end of the day, I can’t help but feel that I’d rather not have company. No thank you. Go find a stadium in New Jersey.

OK, so there are probably folks here who know more about the inner-workings and economics of this potential time share than I do. I’m sure things can be worked out regarding the rent, parking, prices, ticket revenue, concessions, etc. There’s a way to make this happen so that the IronPigs don’t have to take a ‘hit’. Perhaps that’s what they’re negotiating right now. It can work: There are plenty (too many?) of Yankee fans around who will support the team locally (perhaps more than in the SWB area, really). Besides, the Yankees have unlimited money anyway, right?

What’s that you say? The Yankees want to hire me as a consultant to help with the team while they’re here?

OK, here’s an idea:

The Pinstripe Race. Three Yankees with giant foam heads (think President’s Race at Nats’ Park) race to the finish line. The Bambino, The Mick, and Joltin’ Joe. As they enter the gates in left field the PA announcer yells, “BAMBINO IN THE LEAD” but ultimately, the Bambino always stops to have a hot dog and a beer, and rarely wins. People love him, though, and cheer wildly when he finally does win. You’re welcome. I’ll let you know where to send the check.  🙂